The Blank Slate

She fixed him with an icy gaze and said, "When I told you I wanted some strange stuff, I didn't think you'd stay strange through the whole date."

He thought he'd misheard. He whirled to face her, his drink held at eye level, and peered at her through the ice. "Here's looking at you sweetheart", he muttered.

"See? You're doing it again. Is that supposed to be Bogart?"

He shifted his glass slightly, letting the ice tinkle, and said,"What are you talking about?"

"You're pulling your upper lip back when you talk. And you said, "Shweetheart".

"No, I didn't. I distinctly said, "sweetheart".

"Well,it came out "shweetheart". And you've had that raincoat on all evening, and we're in the middle of a drought. BTW,you going to drink that bourbon or keep using it as a monocle?"

"Don't crack wise, shis...sister, and I've told you about talking like your email. I don't like it.I never have, see?"

She laughed harshly."Of course you'd say that, king of the retros. I keep expecting to see dust fly off you when you move.I can't believe I was attracted to you when I met you.You seemed so different then.Now I feel like I'm with a not so clever mimic, a Zelig without the talent."

He slitted his eyelids and looked steadily at her. Oddly,Loretta and everything around her suddenly looked like old movie footage, with a sepia, almost amber monochrome appearance. Could she be right? How retro could he get? As panic started to rise and he felt something had come unstuck, that he was truly becoming part of the past, his hand shook, the ice clattered against the glass, and he realized he was still looking at her through the liquor.Or is that licking through the looker, he thought, and giggled quickly.

Loretta's head snapped up. "What's so funny?"

"All this, don't you think? Why it's easy to see that we're just a couple madcaps." Quick recovery.He was adept at backing and filling.

"Hum.Speak for yourself, IMO."

Egad...could it be she was onto him? Could she know he actually had no personality of his own, that he was as empty inside as Paris Hilton and Lindsay Lohan put together? Hey, that was a nice image; for once his inner screen was filled with something other than film clips.He smiled and had begun nodding his head when a derisive snort from Loretta brought him back to reality, or at least his version of it. He was hollow, yes, but what could you expect of someone whose entire life had been lived through television shows, movies and comic books? He, Baxter, yes, that's right, he was Baxter, he would never believe fantasy could harm him.Make it difficult to get some, yes, but harm? Speaking of which,get hold of yourself, Bax. Think. She said she found you attractive when she met you. Think now, boy. Who...when was that? The memory seared across his mind like the barrel of a pistol whipping gun. "Excuse me, shwee-sweetheart. I'll be right back."

"I can hardly wait. Give me a hint: who will come back?"

He ignored the arch question and scuttled off to the bedroom. Ten minutes later, he ambled casually back to her, shoulders straight, chest thrust proudly forward. The tuxedo was perfectly pressed, the pocket square and bow tie immaculate.

"Well, that's better. Much. I've gotta tell you, when I saw how you were dressed earlier this evening, I felt like ROFLMFAO.Seriously, who wears a fedora anymore? But this is more like it. Remember that first night at the Hyatt?"

"I will never forget. I saw you at the bar in that gorgeous midnight blue Chanel number, and I knew I had to meet you."

She looked down and saw he'd ditched the bourbon.He must have a bar in the bedroom as well she thought, because he was holding a martini with a lemon twist.He did look handsome in the tux, and there was something about it that was so comforting and familiar,sexy touched with the subtlest hint of mystery. He was suave in the tux, he seemed debonair and so self assured.She leaned against him and laid her head on his shoulder.

"Remember how I walked up to you and introduced myself?"

She nodded, and he went on, "Good evening. My name is Todd, Baxter Todd."

She looked up with a start and opened her mouth to lambaste him for that ludicrous faux British accent when his lips came down on hers and all thought of protest was gone.One more night, she thought lazily. I'll give him just one more night.WYSIWYG.


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