Discommoding

Let's see....this is day, um. I seem to have lost count.The great unemployment adventure of 2008 is beginning to seem like one really long month. Or two.

Could be worse. I could be stuck to the toilet seat. Did you hear about that? The woman stays in the bathroom for two years and the boyfriend just recently called the authorities, and then only after she'd been sitting on the toilet for a month and her ass had gone Zen Buddhist and become one with the seat. That's why I keep only magazines in my bathroom. There is no chance I will ever get so engrossed in Entertainment Weekly that I lose track of time like that chick did. I learned my lesson when I took War and Peace to the john with me, but fortunately I found the story very moving.

That brings up a question, (well, several really), but I wonder: do you think your significant other is that clueless? If you moved into the bathroom, how long do you think it would be before help was summoned? And exactly what does that say about the relationship? Leaving out scatological comments,how bad does it have to get for your lover to run away to the commode? That's classic passive aggressive behavior. "I'm leaving you, but I'm just going to be in here." If you're going to end it,then go all the way. Up until now, I thought the worst way to dump (sorry!) your mate was via email or text message, but a potty breakup? Besides, doesn't breaking up usually mean you want to get as far away from the breakee as you can?

I know I'm gonna catch hell for this, but that's something only a woman would do. There is no way a guy would end a relationship by moving into the bathroom. A guy would move into the media room and get an easement for the bathroom.

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