Job? We Ain't Got No Job!

Apologies to Bogart film lovers for today's title. Looks like my coffee was a bit too bitter this morning. I did answer the question "Am I working yet?", though. Finding a job is a job in itself. The best advice I can give you is do not spend more than a couple days wallowing in self pity after being cut loose from your employer. Or more than three weeks wallowing in vodka. Wait....maybe that's just me.

Like riding a bike, it's important to make sure you know how to handle a 10-speed. No, wait. Damn! I am having analogy problems today. Kinda strange, too, as my alogy was hay fever, but it went away when I moved to Arizona. So did my marriage, but that's a story for another day.

Try this: losing a job is like being thrown from a horse. You have to get right back in the saddle. That's the best antidote to depression I've yet found. That and a date with someone really attractive, but that takes money. Make sure your resume is current, and then post it online at Monster, Jobing, Career Builder, and all the other job sites you can find. The beauty of these sites is they allow you to narrow your job search to the specific field(s) you're interested in, and the specific locations. That saves a lot of legwork. When you apply for a job on these sites, you have the option of which resume to send, assuming you have more than one posted, and whether or not to send a cover letter. I highly recommend having at least a couple resumes up because this allows you to apply to employers who have varying experience and skill sets requirements. There's no sense limiting your options. I can easily and quickly apply to 50 or more jobs a day, and still have ample time to get a tan and finish watching all 9 seasons of X-Files dvds.

It's vital to hit the ground running when you become jobless. Take me for example, (somebody please??), the day I got home after being terminated,(don't you just love that word? As if merely being fired doesn't sound final enough.), I came home and immediately sprang into action. First, I punched a huge hole in the wall, kicked my closet door off the track, set fire to my job training manuals,and cut all my work clothes into ribbons. Then I sat down at the computer and hit the job boards. I have always been proud of my ability to calmly and maturely cope with whatever particular lemons life hands me.

A friend of mine once remarked,"If the Universe is testing me, can't I just have an oral?" Too bad it doesn't work that way. I'm running low on vodka.


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