The Wedding Closet

There's a reason I haven't blogged about being unemployed lately: I'm not anymore. Can you believe it? I finally got a job. No, I won't tell you with whom, because like all crusaders for truth and justice and perversion, I must maintain my secret identity. Suffice to say it's in a real small AZ town and it is retail. Whoa, no more angst! About what shall I blog? How about this?

"No, dammit! I said I'll lead!"

Okay, this is America, and everyone should have equal rights. Fine. So let same-sex couples live together, give them benefits and medical coverage and call it good. What's the flaming(sorry!) need to get married? I lived in sin, (that's a small place just north of Vegas if you're curious), for 24 years and I'm hetero. If it's good enough for hets, why isn't it good enough for gays? Besides, look where gay marriage could lead:

1. Who will pay child support?

2. RKO will sue to keep rights to the movie title, "The Gay Divorcee"

3. They'll remake "Married With Children" as "Married With Adoptees"

4. All homes in the future will feature closets without doors

5. Cher and Bette Midler will never retire

6. "Will and Grace" will get its own cable channel

7. It's Ellen's world, we just live in it

8. Family holiday dinners will be real interesting

9. The wedding gown industry will disappear

10. Who will wear/throw the garter?

11. "YMCA" will replace "The Wedding March"

12. Really confused kids on "Parents' Day"

13. 2 words: "Julie Newmar"

14. No one will wear the pants

15. Who will tell the child about "the birds and the birds"?

16. Two best men

17. On "Two and a Half Men", Jon Cryer's character will finally be outed





Wake up people! Let's put hetero marriage on the endangered species list before it's too late.



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