Airstrip

Did you hear the one about the naked man on the airplane? On a flight from Boston to LA Friday, a man came out of the restroom nude. He was confronted by the New England Revolution soccer team's general manager who told him to put his clothes back on, to which Mr.Buff said, "I don't hear you. I don't see you."

Seems like I saw this movie. It was called "Amazon Women On The Moon", and in it Ed Begley, Jr. played the Invisible Man and ran around naked. Only problem was he wasn't invisible. As for Captain Naked, he got dressed again, then tried to open the exit door, at which point he was subdued by angry soccer players and tied up in a seat. He should feel lucky; we all know soccer players are really good at kicking really hard. I can't imagine what the guy was thinking. Nude skydiving usually requires a parachute and it doesn't work real well from a jet. Ask D.B. Cooper, who wasn't nude, but wasn't a successful jet skydiver either. Imagine if there'd been a soccer team on that flight. Maybe we should look into using them for security instead of Air Marshals. Nothing discourages air terror like a good swift field goal attempt to the nuggets.

Of course, I have often fantasized about being naked on a flight, but my fantasies also involve a naked female flight attendant, a blanket and soft moans. I would certainly never walk out of the restroom without my clothes. Perhaps the guy went in there to change suits and forgot he had no carry-on luggage. It could happen. On the positive side, nude passengers would certainly make the skies safer. Where could a terrorist hide a bomb? Ewww...don't even go there, all right? There's hardly enough room for their heads in there as it is.


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