Everyone's favorite student scammer is newsworthy again. She entered a guilty plea in Philly today, and when she's sentenced in October,she'll most likely get 6 years. Jocelyn, Jocelyn. There was a possibility of a less severe sentence if she'd behaved herself, but little Miss I Want It Now couldn't stop the fraud. Prosecutors contend she was stealing identities while working at a Starbucks in CA and living with her mother.
"That'll be $4.55 please. Thank you."
"You're welcome. Excuse me miss, could I have my card back please?"
"Next!"
"Miss? Miss?"
Any day now, I expect to hear Howard Schultz has put out a hit on her. I mean, ripping off your neighbors and friends is one thing, but stealing from Starbucks customers! Does she have any idea what that'd do to their image? I hope the staff counted the coffee cards when she left.
This girl is incurable. She doesn't even stop while she's waiting to plead her case. I referred to Kirsch and her boyfriend Ed Anderton
as losers before, and they are, but Jocelyn is just dumb. How is it possible to think up all those creative ways to rip people off and yet not have enough sense to act contrite when you're caught and promise to do everything right from then on? Maybe since daddy's a plastic surgeon, Jo figures he can turn her into an honest celeb like Ashlee Simpson and she can hide where the law won't find her. Good luck with that one. Counted the paparazzi around Ash lately? How about disguising yourself as her unborn child? Nobody would ever find you there Jocelyn, and it'd give you a fresh start. It would be easy, because emotionally you're an infant anyway.
Here's a better idea: try disguising yourself as a human being. I guarantee not even your best friends(?)will ever recognize you.
Copyright © 2008 thehumorsmithchronicle
0 comments:
Post a Comment