Days Of Whine And Cirrhosis

Over the past 2 years, I have been divorced, been fired twice and quit twice, (because one job left a bad taste in my mind, and the other was run by a woman who really didn't like me), been screwed by Qwest, nearly evicted, gone bankrupt, nearly had my car repossessed, (twice!), had my electricity and phone shut off myriad times,and been hounded by a payday loan outfit because I didn't have the money to repay them.

In the last month I have been pulled over twice, once for making a foolhardy and offensive gesture, the second time for speeding, for which the officer did not cite me. Instead he cited me for expired tags. I went to court, got the fine reduced from $500 to $112, and left happy because I was given until 1/19/09 to rectify the situation, or so I thought. Turns out I was supposed to pay the $112 the day of my hearing, a point the judge did not make very clear. So now....my license has been suspended. On the plus side, the potential for arrest and vehicle impoundment makes every drive an adventure, and I would sure hate to be bored.

Money is the root of my evil. None of these things would have happened and continue to happen to me if I had an income, at least one that lasts more than 5 months. I write this here for two reasons: one, it's a cathartic experience, and two, no one would believe it if I wrote it in a novel. Good thing I have my health, because I damn sure can't afford to see a doctor.

At this time, I am preparing to have yet another moving experience to avoid imminent eviction, back to Seattle most likely, where some friends have offered me lodging. If in my 20's I'd had any idea life would run this way for me, I'd've started putting something away every month besides a couple of fifths. On the other hand, money isn't everything, it just gets you everything, although I most likely owe my sense of humorsmith to the fifths over the years, and I don't know that many funny billionaires. Hmmm...I don't know any depressed ones either. Look on the bright side... give me a minute here. Oh yeah, here it is: I'm not employed, and I don't get unemployment, so I'm not contributing to the bailout.

Someone remarked it's a wonder I still have my sanity. Ha! That's what he thinks. That was the first thing to go, which is very ironic because it's the least expensive item I owned. I am using a friend's computer to blog, since I cannot afford internet, and I will stay at her house tonight, because for some reason I suddenly feel paranoid driving when I can't see what's behind me. For real paranoia and fear, all I have to do is look at what's ahead. I will keep you updated on when and if the universe decides to finally quit playing hide the salami with me. If you learn nothing else from me, other than the obvious don't try this at home, always remember it's five o'clock somewhere.

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