"Now I suppose I'll have to eat him. Dammit! People give me gas!"BERLIN (Associated Press) -- A man jumped into the Berlin zoo enclosure of famed polar bear Knut on Monday, but officials were able to keep the animal away from the intruder by distracting him with a leg of beef. Police said that, before being let go, the man told them that he felt lonely and the bear appeared lonely, too.
Let me just say right here that I have never been drunk or lonely enough to try to do a polar bear. Or any animal for that matter, (though I'm still not 100% sure about my first wife...she was pretty hirsute), and this guy is whacko. In the first place, there is no way this could ever be safe sex. Ever. Polar bears have long claws and they have no qualms about using them.
Second, the bear's a boy. "Knut" is the name, and that screams macho, although I suppose there's a chance he's bi....polar. That enclosure hopper has more issues than anyone outside of Boy George, and I'm thinking maybe the officials should have simply let him and the bear be. One less fruitcake on the streets this Christmas, and maybe Knut was lonely after all. However, I feel pretty certain the bear would be happier with a partner from the same species. Or Roseanne Barr. Nah, never mind. That's cruelty to animals.
Copyright © 2008 thehumorsmithchronicle
3 comments:
Bi Polar
*snicker*
Oh sweetie, you meant bi-SEXUAL. Bi polar is probably what the man was. Me? I'm depressed enough to jump in there and bend over!
Joe...thanks. Puns are fun. Groaners perhaps, but fun.
Dana...nope, I meant bipolar(bear) in all its shameful glory. On the other hand, I hope I never get as depressed as that. Bear ass? Ewwww!
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