Don't Touch That Dial!

I will be posting sporadically the next few weeks, because I am moving, I will be staying in a motel while training for my new position, and I do not have a laptop. I will most likely be library blogging, but I don't know how often. I apologize for the interruption of this program, and thanks for your patience.

See you soon.




Copyright ©  2008 thehumorsmithchronicle

The Wedding Closet

There's a reason I haven't blogged about being unemployed lately: I'm not anymore. Can you believe it? I finally got a job. No, I won't tell you with whom, because like all crusaders for truth and justice and perversion, I must maintain my secret identity. Suffice to say it's in a real small AZ town and it is retail. Whoa, no more angst! About what shall I blog? How about this?

"No, dammit! I said I'll lead!"

Okay, this is America, and everyone should have equal rights. Fine. So let same-sex couples live together, give them benefits and medical coverage and call it good. What's the flaming(sorry!) need to get married? I lived in sin, (that's a small place just north of Vegas if you're curious), for 24 years and I'm hetero. If it's good enough for hets, why isn't it good enough for gays? Besides, look where gay marriage could lead:

1. Who will pay child support?

2. RKO will sue to keep rights to the movie title, "The Gay Divorcee"

3. They'll remake "Married With Children" as "Married With Adoptees"

4. All homes in the future will feature closets without doors

5. Cher and Bette Midler will never retire

6. "Will and Grace" will get its own cable channel

7. It's Ellen's world, we just live in it

8. Family holiday dinners will be real interesting

9. The wedding gown industry will disappear

10. Who will wear/throw the garter?

11. "YMCA" will replace "The Wedding March"

12. Really confused kids on "Parents' Day"

13. 2 words: "Julie Newmar"

14. No one will wear the pants

15. Who will tell the child about "the birds and the birds"?

16. Two best men

17. On "Two and a Half Men", Jon Cryer's character will finally be outed





Wake up people! Let's put hetero marriage on the endangered species list before it's too late.



Copyright ©  2008 thehumorsmithchronicle

Hemp Hop

There aren't any good hanging songs anymore. I just watched "3:10 to Yuma", and in it Ben Wade, (Russell Crowe), sings a song about getting hanged, cheerfully, I might add, and I realized it's been years since I've heard a song like that. Now maybe it's because hanging is not such a popular form of execution anymore, and it's really tough to rhyme "lethal injection" with anything. I don't know what the reason is, but I think it's sad.

The people who wrote such songs were most always the condemned,and that's what makes the lyrics so heartfelt. Nothing gives you focus like imminent death. It does make collecting royalties tough, but it definitely gives your writing punch. In the cowboy era, they wrote songs about damn near anything, so why so skimpy with the "noose" wave music? Maybe hanging songs are unpopular because of the name. How about calling it "Hemp Hop"?


C'mon, you had songs about tumbleweeds, apple pie, John Brown's body(?), and even a bobtail nag. But a dozen or so really strong odes to rope dancing? Neigh! I can't help but feel today's songwriters just aren't living on the edge and their music is getting flabby. Even The Monkees tried to get in the game with "What Am I Doing Hangin' Round?" , but of course the censors wouldn't let them go with the original lyrics. I thought artists were all about the bravery and defying convention, but not lately. If any of you have suggestions on how to turn this situation around and bring back the hanging music, let me know; I'm about at the end of my rope.


Copyright ©  2008 thehumorsmithchronicle

Wages Of Sin

"That reminds me, Joc. We still need to go mountain climbing."


About $50,000 a year if I calculate correctly. At least, that's while Jocelyn and Eddie were free and running around with other people's money. Apparently she is going to accept a plea deal and avoid serious jail time; sentencing guidelines say about 5 years. If that's what she gets, that'll knock her net down to around 20K a year.

Jocelyn is not only a thief, but a serial liar according to those who know her. She loved to pass herself off as Lithuanian. I wonder if their government will sue her for defamation of character? Or maybe she'll just have to worry about people with violet eyes coming after her. This chica is a real piece of work. I'll bet all the men she slept with checked to make sure their equipment was still there afterward.


Suppose she'll have to make restitution? That might be tough if she keeps her job at a California Starbucks; latte mixology doesn't pay all that well. Is there a job market for folks like her? I doubt she'll have much to worry about; for sure there will be movie and book offers. I also heard they're coming up with a tv show for Joc and Ed, about people who don't work but still have rich lifestyles. It's called American Idle.

" Sorry, I've looked in all my dictionaries, but "work for a living" doesn't translate into Lithuanian."


Five years doesn't seem like nearly enough time. These two jackoffs seriously messed up at least 16 people's lives, and show very little remorse. I think they should be unable to get credit cards or open charge accounts or buy anything beyond the basics for about 20 years. That should do for a start. Then how about community service for life, so they can get a feel for what it's like to actually work. The real problem with characters like these is I'm sure they've inspired lots of wannabes who are itching to try it themselves. Nothing sounds sweeter to many folks than getting lots of something for nothing. It's the wave of the future: living somebody else's American dream. By the way, there is no truth to the rumor that Jocelyn offered to pay back the money with a personal check.


Copyright ©  2008 thehumorsmithchronicle

Opportunity Knockers

Like I keep saying, this is a great country. Just ask poor lil' Tiffany, the former teacher who had to take a job as a bikini hostess for a charter company in Florida because her teacher salary was pitiful. Well, she says the school district fired her when they found out about her other gig, and they say it was because she had 30 unexcused absences.

Not to worry; this being the land of the horny, Tiff will make loads of dollars off her rack. Among many offers, she's considering one from Playboy, reportedly for $25,000 per picture. That's $12,500 per boob! I wish I could make money off my body, but so far the only queries I've had are for donor parts, and I pretty much need every organ I've got right now.

There are so many ways of turning a profit, as opposed to tricks, and this seems like one of the best ones. I am curious though, about Tiffany's statements that she doesn't work topless. What's up with the Internet photo?? She has said it was not taken on the job, but rather when she was enjoying a cruise with friends; however, she claims to have used it in ads to attract potential clients. *Ahem* If you aren't working topless, why advertise wearing half a bikini?

Wow, there's water in this picture too. Good thing she's wearing those flotation devices!

I can only imagine how this has increased Smokin 'Em charters' business, and it certainly has done wonders for Tiffany Shepherd's potential income. One thing for certain: between the side job and the Playboy deal, for Tiffany opportunity knockers twice.



Copyright ©  2008 thehumorsmithchronicle

The Dumbass Crown Affair

The Gin Mills Of Your Mind

At last, a worthwhile use for stolen identities.

Those two solid citizens above, Jocelyn Kirsch and her boyfriend, Edward Anderton, traveled the world on stolen credit cards and identities. Police also found keys to several neighbors' apartments and mailboxes in the couple's apartment, as well as a big ass machine for making ID cards. Wow, now that is true ambition. Enough with this penny ante identity theft jazz, where the felons buy a few appliances and a meal at IHOP. Nah, let's go to Paris.


Jocelyn & Ed getting an eyeful in Paris


It warms my heart to see this kind of drive to succeed. Naked greed? I've always said if you're gonna do something, do it big. Imagine if they'd put this cunning and talent to use in legitimate jobs. They'd probably be heads of major corporations by now, in positions where this sort of behavior is expected. Afterward, when they'd run the company into bankruptcy and stripped employees and investors of all profit, Kirsch and Anderton would have a huge severance package and the ID making machine to fall back on.

That's the trouble with some young folks today. They're always in too big a hurry and they want it all right now. If they'd just wait and spread the greed out over a few years and shell companies and Cayman Island accounts, then no one would ever notice. That's the way big business does things, and it's working so far; we still buy what they're selling.

You bought some very pretty things,Jocelyn. The earrings aren't bad either.

I think these guys saw "The Thomas Crown Affair" too many times and just didn't get it. Crown stole from museums and billionaire businessmen and others who were heavily insured and could afford to take the hit. Stealing from the middle class to enrich yourself is beyond pathetic; it smacks of elitism and the worst kind of entitlement. Best to not be a thief at all; but if you must, don't be a bad neighbor and friend as well. Take from rich folks you don't know.


Copyright ©  2008 thehumorsmithchronicle

Taking Crime Purseonally

Basic easy to snatch purse



Suspect poses for photo with women shortly before robbing them

Just when I begin to think people can't get any dumber, something like this happens. It's one thing to try and grab a purse, but is it really a great idea to pose for a photograph with your intended victim?

Seems our pal Andre just couldn't resist jumping into the shot when the bar bachelorettes he was harassing snapped some pics. Then later when he made off with the purse, they recognized him and showed the cops his picture. It's important to recognize the difference between cooly studying your prey's actions and acting like the drunk jackass people always remember.

It might have been a good idea to steal the camera too. Andre might be a free man right now if he had. Don't get me wrong, I am not condoning the crime. I am however, applauding the thief's total bozoiciousness. How inept does a guy have to be to fumble a purse snatching? This is probably the simplest, almost completely risk free illegal act there is, and this mook screws it up. Is it possible he's a recent SDSU grad?

There's an obvious moral here, and maybe Andre will take it to heart: don't try to save time by letting your victim take your mug shot. The rest of you, beware. They are coming up with new crime-fighting techniques every day; it's just a matter of time before the next petty thief gets bagged.

Anti snatcher purse with handcuff


Copyright ©  2008 thehumorsmithchronicle

Dealership 101

SDSU Drug Bust

That's a relief. I know many people were worried where the next generation of drug dealers would come from. It's good to know educational values are still important in America. Of course, not everybody is paying attention. Some of the 75 students busted in the sting were apparently looking to pursue law enforcement and homeland security careers. I sure hope they had some good minors picked out.

One of these geniuses asked the cops if this arrest would affect his chances of working with the criminal justice system. Well, not if he plans on working from the inside. This story brings home the truth that college tuition is far too costly for most students. Look at the ridiculous lengths to which they must go merely to graduate. At least they didn't have to risk going to dangerous dark alleys and shady neighborhoods to supply their frat parties; they had the goods right at hand.

It's heartening to learn the spirit of entrepreneurship is so strong among young people today. I don't know about you, but I feel lots better about the future now, because I know this next generation coming up is going to be fully capable of keeping the wheels running in this country. Let's face it, drugs and money and sex have been driving the bus for decades, it's just that occasionally we average citizens catch a glimpse behind the curtain and get the chance to shake our heads and tsk at the situation and the lamentable societal pressure that causes our kids to act in this way. Yeah, sure. People do what they learn, and the herd instinct is alive and well. These activities will not go away.

As long as we have good tv, blockbuster movies, Internet access and terrific music to keep us occupied, we won't be asking too many questions, and that's what really keeps the wheels turning. Welcome this bust as an opportunity to see, briefly, the shadow business behind the one we're supposed to think runs the world. Maybe next time someone complains about dealing with college, we'll pay more attention. And to think we wonder why nothing seems to change. Because the status quo is profitable to too many people, and those would be the ones holding the reins.


"And this was from the Theta Chi toga party in February."


Looked at another way, this could explain the behavior of so many people in power these past few years. I guess it's better to believe they're stoned than that they're really so damn stupid. I mentioned movies, and although they do make us lose focus, they are a lot of fun, and sometimes they can even teach us something. I don't think those big, important folks at the top of our national food chain would go wrong to pay some attention. To paraphrase Faber College's Dean Wormer, "Fat, stoned and stupid is no way to go through life."


Copyright ©  2008 thehumorsmithchronicle

Holding My Own Hand

It's easy to get lulled into a false sense of security when you're single, and begin thinking you have plenty of time to find someone to be with. Easy because of the plethora of dating sites, how to date books, Dr.Phil clones and the naked women of the Internet. Over the past 18 months, the only relationship I've had is with my computer. Not very emotionally fulfilling, but on the plus side there is an off switch.

Maybe, just maybe this whole love thing is overrated. If it was supposed to happen, then would it be so tough to find? I'm here to tell you, all those avenues to finding companionship result in a bunch of dead ends. The street of romance needs better signs. Either that, or we need to stop the clown who keeps taking down the "do not enter" signs, because I keep fetching up against the wall of "nope, nothing happening for you here, move on". My hood is dented, my headlights are dim and I burned oil like crazy until I discovered the way to not waste time: don't spend any. Right. Just give up, lock the door, turn on the dvd player and you're good to not go.

Sure, it's a slothful existence, but it saves a bunch of wear on the heart. Cowardly you say? And what's wrong with being a chicken? Along with a skewed view of love,popular entertainment has given us all these heroic images, and they are a crock. I do not have a latex batsuit in the closet, and the closest I have to a gun is a toy I got years ago. Wait...now that I think about it, sloths find love too. Why else would there be so many of them?

Forgive the cynicism, but every day another little bit of my belief in romance falls off and shrivels like an ant under a magnifying glass. Don't be misled, though, I still have hope. In fact, I did see the perfect relationship once.That's just a wee bit more of a sacrifice than I'm willing to make though. I mean, c'mon. Pottery classes?


Copyright ©  2008 thehumorsmithchronicle

Party System

Nevada's governor Gibbons wants the mansion back.

Seems fair to me; the folks elected him, not his soon to be ex-wife, so she should move out. On the other hand, with all those rooms it's doubtful they'll have to see each other if they don't want to, so he could be magnanimous. I tell ya what, this election year just keeps getting better and better. This is the same Gibbons who is already under investigation for corruption, and a couple years ago was accused of propositioning and assaulting a waitress he'd been out with, though that case was dropped for lack of evidence.

There's also a great picture taken when he was a congressman partying with a group of women. Woo...go gov!Why do politicians always seem to have all the fun? Hey, no problem, the rest of us will sit here and watch our jobs evaporate while you take money for doing favors and party the night away. Is it any wonder there are so many things that need fixin' here at home and they aren't getting done? I have said and still believe a person can party and hold a job; just check with your average twentysomething, but there comes a point in life and position when some of the partyness has to get dialed back a notch.

If things like this keep happening, it won't be long before just anyone thinks they can be a leader and before you can say "cigar and stained blue dress", we'll have anarchy. I mean, what kind of democracy would this be if we let any citizen who wanted to run for office? It's time for all you crazy pols to snap out of it; too many of you are letting the people see how much fun can be had, and there's a chance the two-party system will become the "hey, let's party" system.

Also, there's lots of guys out there who don't make the great money you office holders do, and it'd be really nice if you'd stop driving up the price of escorts, especially since it's we who are footing your footsie bill .

Copyright ©  2008 thehumorsmithchronicle

Bikini 101

Florida teacher fired for wearing a bikini

YAWOWEEE!

Seems a bit harsh. {sigh} Do you have any idea how sorry I am the Internet wasn't around when I was in school? There are so many teachers I would have loved to see like this, but that's probably just me, right?

If Teach Tiff was indeed termed for getting a second job that required her to wear a bikini, I say "Huh?" Sure, the last few years have seen a sharp increase in stories of teachers having sex with students, and yes, we do need to protect kids, but these are pictures of a woman in a bikini who teaches high school. I submit that any students who think of her as a sex fantasy object were doing it long before these pictures showed up. I was a teen boy once myself, and I can guarantee you some do think like that.

This is Florida, too, and there are lots of women who wear bikinis. Shall the powers that be mandate eyepatches and shades for all the students who might happen to see such a woman? What about Baywatch reruns? Or just about any tv show for that matter? Internet anyone? The magazine section at the bookstore? This is truly sad and it's taking all the fun out of being young and hormonal. Tiffany moonlighting in a bikini doesn't make her a bad teacher, in fact the job and pics will probably make her a better teacher. For sure the class will be paying a lot more attention to her.

School officials say they're not renewing her contract because of excessive
absences; she missed about 30 days. Maybe she was getting a bikini wax. The big lesson here for all of us is evident: in this world of digital cameras, cell phones and the Internet, someone is always watching. And Tiffany? Since you'll probably seek legal help with this situation, there's an Attorney General in Ohio you might want to call, although I have the feeling he may call you first about a bikini charter trip. Give him a couple days.



Copyright ©  2008 thehumorsmithchronicle

Doggie Bags

Figuring out good people from bad people may turn out to be as simple as observing who scoops and who doesn't. There are lots of dog owners in my complex, and lots of them go for walks right outside my patio. There are many conveniently placed poo bags to make it easy to scoop, but I am surprised by the number who don't. True, there are landscape types here daily who will take care of it, but that kind of defeats the purpose.

I don't think it's that big a deal to clean up after your pooch, but I guess some just aren't into it. I have two indoor cats, and I scoop their box multiple times daily. Why do I think not picking up makes for a bad person? Well, how does anyone know what else they might not do when they think no one's looking? Shall we talk about washing after using the toilet? Nah, let's not, that issue kinda nauseates me, especially since so many places only have air driers and no towels, and I sometimes have to get real creative to open the door without touching the knob.

It's just simple hygiene, and it's not tough, but more and more people are disposing of the little things that make this a nicer place, and I'm tired of the mess. I used to shake hands a lot, but now I only shake with very close friends. How do I know where that hand's been? Judging by all the Internet pictures so gleefully shared by these folks,those hands and a few other body parts have been places I wouldn't let a dog go. Speaking of which, when your dog goes, pick it up.


Copyright ©  2008 thehumorsmithchronicle

The AGony and the Ecstasy

For a while there, I thought we might make it through a week without another politics and sex story, but obviously I was deluded. Ohio AG Dann the mann didn't even follow Spitzer's lead and wait until he was governor before he started chasing the inkwell. At this point, about the only positive thing I can say is at least she wasn't an escort.

Y'know, I am not naive, and I know full well this kind of thing goes on all the time, but hey! Why don't you guys knock it off? It's hard enough for me to get a date without the possibility the women will go running after our elected leaders' power pointers. I don't believe this behavior makes these polEaticians incapable of fulfilling their duties. If extracurricular activities had that effect on men, nothing in this country would get done, but I do wonder exactly which organ they use in making decisions. That's tough enough for civilian guys to deal with.

The other concern it raises is if they're concentrating on skin time, what are they neglecting? Carrying out the duties of office can be done while climbing and grabbing, but it all depends on how much time is spent pursuing the congressional cookie, senatorial snack cake, and the orifice staff. Maybe they should enact special legislation and toughen the penalties for elected people caught with their filibusters down.

I think the whole erection process needs to be overhauled, and politicians need to have better reasons for candidacy than the poontential. Not that sex isn't a good reason, but it shouldn't be the major one. Maybe the Electoral College can help, and act like responsible lovers by threatening to withold votes until the offender settles down and does something instead of somebody.



Copyright ©  2008 thehumorsmithchronicle

Frankness

Sinatra, bless his politically incorrect heart, has a lot to teach those who will listen. If you're unfamiliar with his songs, do yourself a favor and take the time to find them; you will be rewarded. The only things I couldn't listen to in the months a.d.(after divorce) were his songs of lost love. Nobody can tell those stories like he can, and they can be tough to take when you're repairing holes in your armor. The swingin' tunes, now that's a different story. Nelson Riddle's and Quincy Jones' arrangements, Basie's or Ellington's band and Ol' Blue Eyes are what cool is all about.

The other great thing Frank and his fellow rats did was celebrate life, and that's something we seem to have lost the ability to do for the most part. I'm not recommending you go out and drink and party every night; that would be foolish, and besides, I'm willing to do that for you and report back. Rather, I suggest it might not be a bad idea to just lighten up and take things as they come, pally.

This country could use a good dose of cool, and the Rat Pack has that in buckets. Nothing ever got to them, at least nothing anybody saw, but that's the sign of genuine cool. Things affect you, but you don't let on. Think about how that could make a difference in life. Gang shootings? Not gonna happen, because even though some clyde offended the banger, he will not react and show his inners. No anger, no need to defend anything, just.....coolamungo. Going to war? Nah, let's have a shot of JD and talk about things, and by the way Charley, how's your bird?

The boys were all about the fun, and I'd like to see our lawmakers get a little of that action. Yeah, I know, we've already got lots of politicians and escorts, but I'm talking about the Senate and Congress kickin' it together and dancing out all the ins and outs of legislation. "Hey, pally, wouldn't it be great if we passed this here bill and didn't worry about all the pork? I swear, sometimes you guys can be such a bunch of Harveys."

Road rage? Fugeddaboudit. It's hard to stop, get out and wave a pistol when the Chairman sings and gets us all under his skin. The dynamic between Frank, Dean and Sammy was a gas, man, absolutely. When you think about the huge talent on that stage and the lack of ego as they all shared giddily in the spotlight, well, don't you think the world would be better off with that kind of approach?
If you're thinking I've lost it here, and you wouldn't want to live in a world run by drunken, horny, permanently adolescent men well, um....
Is it just me or has that bus already sailed?

Essential Sinatra CDs

In The Wee Small Hours of the Morning
Francis Albert Sinatra and Antonio Carlos Jobim
It Might As Well be Swing
Sinatra's Sinatra
Songs For Swingin' Lovers
Sinatra At The Sands
Sinatra And Strings



Copyright ©  2008 thehumorsmithchronicle

Charlie's Angels

Charlie Sheen uses an escort agency!

Okay, so it's not really news, but....


Maybe this is why Charlie's so believable on "Two and a Half Men"; he's playing himself. We are inundated with info of this sort daily, and we can choose to either ignore or wallow. Guess which I vote for? Salacious? Absolutely.

Now if we compare this to the Spitzer deal, Charlie is throwing a lot of money at these girls. Reportedly 25K a night. Of course, since his engagement last year, he's stopped using Nici's services, so that's cool. Ever wonder why there's a public fascination with this kind of thing? Could we guys be jealous? Speaking for myself, there is no way I could be jealous....well, okay, yeah, I am a bit. Are there better ways to spend money? Sure. Are there more fun ways? Well....

I'm not going to get into whether this stuff should be legalized,that's a debate that will most likely never be finished satisfactorily,and I am far from a master debater. Come on, you just knew I'd throw in a joke like that somewhere,didn't you? It's a certainty Sheen is nobody's idea of a role model, so other than hauling his already soiled reputation through yet another bog, who's getting hurt? Besides me, I mean, and I don't think anyone cares if I consider him a role model. I don't want to emulate him; not only can't I afford it, but I don't have that energy level anymore.

I could find other things to do with that kind of cash. I'm pretty sure all of us could, but this is the age of conspicuous consumption, and what's more conspicuous than 4 or 5 escorts showing up at your door? You've just gotta know these celebriteases are fully aware we're going to find out. We're never shocked anymore, and that's kind of a shame, but we are titillated, and for those of you keeping score, that was cheap shot number two.

Don't forget, these news flashers do a great job of distracting the public from the meaningful events of our world, so I'm sure somebody's pleased when scandal hits. The sordid doings of our entertainers keep our attention off the sordid doings of our leaders and the global villains, and I suspect they're fine with that. Come November, however, keep in mind we get the government we deserve, and our elected ones are a lot like Charlie. The only difference is we won't get 25K when they're done with us.



"Always practice safe politics."-HumorSmith




Copyright ©  2008 thehumorsmithchronicle

Jackash

PHOENIX -- Three Texans have been charged with leaving a campfire unattended and causing the X fire to spread in the Kaibab National Forest near the Grand Canyon National Park

They're fighting what they call the "X" fire,(wonder if Mulder knows?),near the Grand Canyon. The good news is it's about 60% contained. The silly news is the yahoos, (as opposed to googles), who started it went back to the campsite to fetch their tent and got arrested. Seems they left the fire untended and it sparked a blaze. Gee, who knew?

I was surprised to read they're just being charged with a misdemeanor. Somehow I thought starting a forest fire was at least a felony. Maybe it's because they didn't do it intentionally. I don't think it matters too much. The real crime here is stupidity, and that deserves more than a slap on the wrist. Intelligence may be only cerebellum deep, but stupid goes all the way. What's the defense? "Gee, you mean embers and sparks can cause fires? So, what do we do when we leave, I mean with the fire?"

Maybe it's time to bring Smokey Bear back.This time though,let's give him a rifle instead of a shovel.The only reason I think they didn't mean to do it is the fact they returned to the scene.Of course, if they did do it intentionally and still went back, that goes right past dumb and skids into Stooges territory. Wonder if these 3 know our wannabe bank robber from last week who stopped and asked directions? Let this be a lesson to all the hardy outdoorsy folks: make sure you're brighter than your campfire.



"Remember,












can prevent stupidity."


Copyright ©  2008 thehumorsmithchronicle

Ain't Life A Gas

Copyright Viviane Pimentel 2004

Some experts are saying the economic slump will be lengthy but shallow. And they call that a silver lining. Hmm..my finances have been shallow for quite a while now. The money crunch is being felt by everyone right now, except of course the big oil companies. Not to worry, though, our presidential Hopealong Cassidys have a plan. Hillary and John want to drop the gas tax for the summer. Wow, think of that. The average driver will save almost $30.00 over the summer. Not per tank; we're talking a total savings of 30 bucks over the life of the tax suspension. Are you as excited as I am? That's like using a tissue to stanch a severed artery.

We really need to start putting money into alternative energy methods. Nothing will change until we cease our dependence on oil. As I write, it doesn't look likely, but maybe someone will dip into their campaign funds and buy a clue.Unfortunately, I am as guilty as anyone of wasting resources.
Yeah, I love my gas hog, but I am working on getting sails and a solar cell installed, I promise.

Years ago, I had this crazy dream that in the 21st century we'd all be flying electric cars happily out of our aircarports. Well, the future is now,I see monkeys, and they are emphatically not flying out of my carport.


Copyright ©  2008 thehumorsmithchronicle