If breakfast is the most important meal of the day, where does that leave cocktail hour? I have never been one to eat breakfast every day. Most mornings my stomach is so unhappy with having to get out of bed it's in no mood to have anything forced down its gullet. If, you know, it actually has a gullet.
I was thinking of this yesterday as I perused the plethora of cereal at Safeway. For the love of God...if I had to make a decision like that more than once a month, I don't think I could go on living.
When I was a kid, I had one cereal. Cap'n Crunch. The commercials said it was great, and I believed it. Forget the fact it's corrugated cardboard with razor sharp corners and has the nutritional value of wax fruit, the Cap was my friend, and I remained loyal.Of course I eventually discovered eggs and toast and the joy of skipping breakfast, but that was years later. I wonder sometimes if the Crunch mariner had something to do with my decision to forego that first meal of the day as I grew, but that seems a bit silly. To this day I still miss the sugar high, and the funny feeling whenever I whistled and air blew across my lacerated palate.
Nope, you can't beat fun like that. I wonder now with all the information we have if parents have an easier time choosing cereal for their family. The smart crowd naturally selects the most bland,"healthy", tasteless cereal out there:Grape-Nuts. The ones who don't care but like to pretend they do will opt for Cheerios and bananas. Then I'm sure there must still be the retro group, the ones who remember never wearing bicycle helmets in their youth, (because they knew if they crashed, their head was the only thing that wouldn't suffer 10 yards of concrete scraping), who want their loved ones to have the same thrill of wondering if they're really eating old boxes.
I'm truly getting a little misty here.
Copyright © 2009 thehumorsmithchronicle
9 comments:
I love the way that Cap'n Crunch is the only cereal that can scour the roof of your mouth off.
You know it's gonna hurt, but you still gotta have the Crunch. (with or without crunch berries?)
Cap'n Crunch was my drug, I mean meal of choice my entire sophomore year of college. My mom always got the "healthy" cereals when I was growing up so I tried to make up for later. And, now, I might just have to buy some at the store for kicks! :P Look out palate, there's carnage ahead!
Frosted Flakes and the PC disaster Rice Krinkles were my favorites.
Vic & Chat: Good to know I'm not the only Cap'n addict around.
Da Old Man: Wow...I'd forgotten all about Rice Krinkles. A real PC nightmare. Hard to believe some of the stuff that was done when we were kids.
Fucking right razor sharp corners. I was into the marshmallow cereals like lucky charms and count chocula. I also remember being pretty disappointed to find out that the cereals that show real fruit in them on the box didn't come with fruit at all and that although puffed rice looks pretty similar to Sugar Smacks they taste like shit.
Growing up, my mother put a $2 a box cap on all cereals. Today that won't get you the back of the box to read, but back then it bought most cereals on the market. Most. Honestly, it bought nothing we wanted to eat. I was a teenager by the time that "cereal", for a lot of people, was not a question of oatmeal or Cream of Wheat...
Cap'n Crunch with Crunch Berries, though.
Pearl
Vic & Chat: Good to know I'm not the only Cap'n addict around.
Da Old Man: Wow...I'd forgotten all about Rice Krinkles. A real PC nightmare. Hard to believe some of the stuff that was done when we were kids.
Growing up, my mother put a $2 a box cap on all cereals. Today that won't get you the back of the box to read, but back then it bought most cereals on the market. Most. Honestly, it bought nothing we wanted to eat. I was a teenager by the time that "cereal", for a lot of people, was not a question of oatmeal or Cream of Wheat...
Cap'n Crunch with Crunch Berries, though.
Pearl
Fucking right razor sharp corners. I was into the marshmallow cereals like lucky charms and count chocula. I also remember being pretty disappointed to find out that the cereals that show real fruit in them on the box didn't come with fruit at all and that although puffed rice looks pretty similar to Sugar Smacks they taste like shit.
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