It's snowing and Sunday and I am feeling lazy, so it's rerun time. If this post puts my nascent blogging career in jeopardy, then so be it.
I won at Jeopardy! In fact, I win every night, but I don't let it faze me. Mainly because I play at home, and I know damn well if I ever appeared on the show they'd only have categories I know nothing about.
What if real life was like Jeopardy! ? No, not that way, I mean like the game; I face jeopardy every day in my superhero guise of SmartassMan. Nah, Jeopardy! with a capital "J"and an exclamation point. Think about it. I'm standing at the customer service desk and an angry person, (yeah, I know that's hard to imagine, but go with me on this), walks up and slams his purchase on the counter. "This doesn't work!" he bellows, and in the distance I can faintly hear ovulating elephants answering. "What is the reason people return items?" I ask, and proudly wait for Trebek to tell me I got it right.
I'm in traffic court, and the judge says, "You were cited for driving with expired tags." "What is a $600 fine?" I respond. It wasn't until that point I realized how frickin' loud those gavels are.
"I love you."
"What is the quickest way to get into her pants?"
"Are you serious?" "
"Wait....you're supposed to give me the answer first. Where are you going?"
"This lane is 15 items or less."
"What is the cause of enormous angry courtesy clerks running toward me?"
"I just gave birth to our seventh child."
"Why are you looking at me like that and what are you going to do with those scissors?"
"President Obama."
"What is the GOP nominated an old guy in dodgy health and a baked Alaskan?"
"Very funny."
"What is a typical reaction after reading my blog?
Or seeing me naked." Your choice.
Copyright © 2009 thehumorsmithchronicle
10 comments:
You are very creative! I never would have thought to do that with my sarcasm.. you just gave me new ammo.. thank you. Do I have to link you though if I do it in face to face conversations hmmmmmmm
And since Ive never seen you nekkid
"Very funny"
oh dear gawd! now I'm going to have Alex Trebek's voice in my head all day!! :P
Hahaha. Good one.
I usually just get uncontrollable laughter and pointing when naked but it's not about the size of the pencil, it's about how it writes and mine can do cursive but it is leaking ink. That's bad, since it's a pencil.
What is WTF?
If I have the choice between seeing you naked and reading your blog, I think I'll take reading your blog. Thanks for asking, though. :)
I'm gonna pass on the seeing you naked thing, too.
No offense intended.
This was a clever parody. Thanks.
Hahaha. Good one.
I usually just get uncontrollable laughter and pointing when naked but it's not about the size of the pencil, it's about how it writes and mine can do cursive but it is leaking ink. That's bad, since it's a pencil.
What is WTF?
I'm glad you re-ran this one. I'd missed it and it's a goodie for sure!
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