Monday, January 30, 2012

Two Karma Garage

Where did I go wrong?

I realize that's too broad. Maybe I should pick a decade. I was gonna be a disc jockey. I was gonna be a comedian. I was gonna do stuff. I did stuff. It wasn't the right stuff.

Once you decide on a goal, you have to focus all your energy on that goal and not turn from the path. It's called determination.

I've got a goal. It's to make people laugh. Not at my bank balance. At my humor. I have given up the notion I have to be somewhere at any specific time in my life. I am here and that's just where I'm supposed to be.

I was going to try to be one with everything, but there just isn't enough space in my room. Not enough room to swing a cat, which is just as well. He makes funny noises when I do that and I don't think he's particularly happy about the whole idea.

I think instead I shall become two with everything. That way I'll have a backup just in case everything isn't all it's cracked up to be. After all, I have been one with bankruptcy and divorce and toenail fungus and that wasn't cool. That was what it was, and was sucked.

I am trying to get on with this whole "it is what is" thing, but that sounds fatalistic to me, as if we can't change anything except our underpants. And really, if you're next to some guy who reeks to the heavens, are you going to be happy if he tells you "it is what it is"? Should that term even apply to stinky Fruit of the Looms? No no say I. Go forth and render your undergarments socially acceptable forthwith.

Thing is, you get exactly what you are prepared to accept. I do not choose to accept skid marks.

Copyright © 2012 thehumorsmithchronicle


  1. Wow, underwear analogy skillfully inserted, man. 

  2. Skid marks are alright provided they're on the driveway. But the concrete can really hurt your ass.

  3. In the eternal words of Bugs Bunny, I believe you should have taken a left at Albuquerque.

  4. I don't wanna talk about how many times my underwear's been inserted.

  5. Yeah, then I haveta be debriefed afterward.

  6. I tried that. Ended up in Stockton. No one knows why.