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Saturday, February 18, 2012

Hit Me


Seriously. What the hell's wrong with you people? If you give a big enough crap to drop by, then drop your damn business card in the follow and Networked Blogs boxes and start following already. No, I'm not offering prizes. No I will not come to your house and clean your windows. What I will do is follow you back unless you're shilling for some goddamn corporation or internet scam site, in which case I'll kick your surfing ass all the way back to DOS. Do I really have to point it out? Life is a numbers game, and you're not helping. Hit me for crap's sake. Jeezzzuuuzz!!

To those folks already following me, bless you and I am eternally sunshiney and spotless. Um, wait...I hated that movie. I never saw it, I just hate the idea of the title. Shiny happy people make my scrotum itch. I like happy, but keep it toned down a bit willya? Don't hit me with that million megawatt smile. At least not until I've had a couple cups of coffee and a good portion of Smirnoff.

Have you known people like that? They seem to just be too happy. I mean happy is great, but you mix that with some exuberance and a happy dance that looks like you've just inhaled a kilo of Colombia's finest, and I start to wonder what you're hiding, or if you've won the lottery, in which case I'll be happy to befriend you for life, even if I can't stand your ass. I have my standards, and they are for sale.

Follow?




Update: 44 hits on this post, and 1 new follow. Maybe I was too polite. Yeah, definitely too polite.

Irony Update: This post is getting more viewers faster than anything I've written in the past year. I'll take it.


Update to the update to the update: From the looks of the latest comment, I may have hurt someone's delicate little feelings. Good to know you're awake out there and thanks for the follow.



Copyright © 2012 thehumorsmithchronicle

16 comments:

  1. Okay. Buy me a ticket and I'll meet you on the ship.

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  2. Happy is only skin deep...irony goes to the bone. Notice the cactus to the right on your background. It seems to be giving your viewers the finger. My best

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  3. Just one of many reasons I like the cactus image. I too have a prickly personality.

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  4. Sounds like somebody needs to be put down for their nap. I sometimes get a hundred hits without a new follower.

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  5. Nah, I'm well rested. Just testing a theory. Apparently I can be a cranky bastard and still get visitors. Go figure. It bodes well for my golden years in the nursing home.

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  6. I won't hit you, but I may come by and smack you around a bit.  ;)

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  7. Thanks Jayne. I usually pay good money for that.

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  8. There I effing followed you, alright?  You don't have to bloody yell at people you mean SOB.

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  9. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

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  10. Oh look, there I am in both of those boxes. Seems I hit you twice already but you didn't even feel it. I guess I can scratch Dominatrix off my possible career paths.

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  11. I love ya Nicky. You make me happy almost all over.

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  12. I'm a bit slow on the uptake. I'd like to say it was from all the hits I receive, but sadly. I don't get hit too often. I did crack my whip pretty hard on your blog just now. Cranky really does work!

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  13. That's what I'm saying. Gimme time, I'm sure I can whip you into shape.

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