Saturday, February 18, 2012
Seriously. What the hell's wrong with you people? If you give a big enough crap to drop by, then drop your damn business card in the follow and Networked Blogs boxes and start following already. No, I'm not offering prizes. No I will not come to your house and clean your windows. What I will do is follow you back unless you're shilling for some goddamn corporation or internet scam site, in which case I'll kick your surfing ass all the way back to DOS. Do I really have to point it out? Life is a numbers game, and you're not helping. Hit me for crap's sake. Jeezzzuuuzz!!
To those folks already following me, bless you and I am eternally sunshiney and spotless. Um, wait...I hated that movie. I never saw it, I just hate the idea of the title. Shiny happy people make my scrotum itch. I like happy, but keep it toned down a bit willya? Don't hit me with that million megawatt smile. At least not until I've had a couple cups of coffee and a good portion of Smirnoff.
Have you known people like that? They seem to just be too happy. I mean happy is great, but you mix that with some exuberance and a happy dance that looks like you've just inhaled a kilo of Colombia's finest, and I start to wonder what you're hiding, or if you've won the lottery, in which case I'll be happy to befriend you for life, even if I can't stand your ass. I have my standards, and they are for sale.
Update: 44 hits on this post, and 1 new follow. Maybe I was too polite. Yeah, definitely too polite.
Irony Update: This post is getting more viewers faster than anything I've written in the past year. I'll take it.
Update to the update to the update: From the looks of the latest comment, I may have hurt someone's delicate little feelings. Good to know you're awake out there and thanks for the follow.
Copyright © 2012 thehumorsmithchronicle