I'm pretty sure by now you know me. Or at least as much of me as you can through my rantings on this blog. And to tell you the truth, that's about as close as I want most of you to get. Except maybe you in the back trying to sidle out of the room. Yeah you, the one with the long brown hair with auburn highlights and the figure reminiscent of, well, actually nothing in my life the past 10 years, but before that when I was a young HumorSmith...hoo boy. Yeah you...come over here. Sit down right in front. Thanks.
I am also on Facebook and Twitter, so yeah, I can be social when I want. I like to share stuff, and some of my favorite shares are courtesy of George Takei, AKA Sulu from Star Trek, who a while ago uncloseted himself because apparently he's been going boldly where this man has never gone for years.
George is very funny. A lot of his pictures completely crack me up. I really liked this one:
I got a couple comments from a fellow FBer. They were very simple and to the point. "Why?" went the first one, and "Not cool" went the second. Okay. So I gather the guy was offended. And he has a dirty mind. That is a dog. Just a dog. Yeah, I know what it looks like, but it's a dog. I offended someone with this. Wow. I keep forgetting how many uptight people there are in this world, so I guess I better change my ways and start posting inoffensive stuff and being less ornery on the Chronicle.
*snort*. You know what a life of worrying about what people think of me has gotten me? Nothing. Bupkus. Nada. Zilch. Fuck all. I don't care if I offend people. I don't care if some get upset at my rants or pictures or general demeanor. I don't even care if you think I'm an asshole, because you're right. Your opinions are as valid as mine, but mine matter to me.
Comedy oughta make you a bit uncomfortable from time to time. It does me. Besides, if there are so many folks who find me offensive, how come the second most popular post of all time on this blog talks about me getting busted for masturbating at work and Nancy Sinatra's Playboy appearance? Hah?
Right. Controversy often leads to traffic. Your visits and comments are very welcome, whether they're pro or anti. At least you're feeling something. Speaking of that, you in the front row with the brown hair with auburn highlights, would you mind staying after the rant?
Don't you love the immediacy of the web? I just noticed the offended one unfriended me. I may be onto something here, a way to separate the real friends from the people who just wanna hang out with me 'cause I'm cool. Who's next? Nothing exposes superficiality like social networks. Easy to make friends, even easier to kick 'em to the curb. This beats breaking up by text by a country mile.
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