Tuesday, February 28, 2012
Seattle Doesn't Need Foreplay
Maybe I'm not in the right frame of mind to post. Not like that would stop me. Sometimes a crummy mood can produce comedy genius. And sometimes not.
I am now absolutely positive sunshine is necessary to get me off my ass, perk up my 'tude and get me moving and motivated. Yesterday was gorgeous, blue skies and sunny, albeit a bit chilly and I was grinning and bouncing around like Barney on crack.
Today it's back to the perpetual Seattle gloom and I want to kill something. Seattle is like my ex was in the early stages of courtship when I still floated her boat: always wet.
I always suspected I was a sun demon, and now I know for certain. This city truly sucks. Yet, if you talk to people who actually choose to live here, they will rave about its beauty and go on and on about their love of hiking and snow skiing, and walking in the rain and cold weather.
For those of us who don't do any of those things, and who like warmth, well.....tough. Why do I live here? you ask. Okay, you didn't, but let's pretend. I live here because I spent most of the last 10 years carefully dismantling my finances.
Take heart successful ones, you too can reduce yourself to little more than an overdraft charge in life's ledger simply by not giving a damn. Things you want cost too much? Say, "I don't give a damn," and buy them anyway. That's just one of the helpful tips you'll find in my forthcoming book, "I Need A Wallet Like Stevie Wonder Needs A Telescope".
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