Sunday, February 26, 2012

The Wheels On The Bus

Pretty interesting day Friday. I left to catch the bus to work and just as I reached the corner, I saw the good ol' 119 speeding toward me. On the opposite side of the street. Okay, I flung my arm into the air and waved maniacally, he slowed down at the stop and I ran to get on board. In the process, I banged my head on the side mirror. I always wondered why they have big signs on the bus telling you not to cross in front of them, and now I know. I also launched my cell phone from my jacket pocket to the street, and if it hadn't made such a loud bang when it hit, we would have driven over it. I scooped it up and got back in the bus.

I was going to try to make a long story short, but I see there's no way that's going to happen, so we arrived at the park & ride just as the next bus I needed was pulling away. My driver was kind enough to honk and the departing bus waited for me. I ran from one to the other, and when I reached the back of the other bus, I stopped running and walked the rest of the way to the door, adding maybe another 10 seconds to the time. As I got on, the driver glared at me and said, "Next time you start running, don't stop."

Really? This I get from a bus driver? I held him up an extra 10 seconds as I walked from the rear to the front, so he chose to get snotty. Look, I know everyone has a job they hate. I get that, I really do. Well, okay most of us have a job we hate. Okay, some of us have a....stop me when I get it right.

That's life pal. If your sorry ass is fed up with people get another job. Oh that's right. We're in an economic slowdown and there are no other jobs. Hey I know. Be as nasty and verbally abusive as possible to the customers whom it's your job to serve. There ya go. Or you can just follow my example, STFU, work your shift then go home and have a drink. Or two. Works every damn time.

Whatever happened to doing what you love? Maybe I'm misjudging Mr. Cranky Balls and he really loves his job, and that's just how he talks to people. You know, maybe he's one of those, "If I wasn't mean to you, you'd think I didn't like you" guys. "Oh, I get it. You're a dick to me because you like me. So how do you treat the people you hate?" I'd be really pissed off if I thought some total asswads were getting candy and invitations to dinner by being complete jerks, while I joke and smile and get crapped on.

This is why as I go along in life, I have less patience for schmucks. I'm not really sure it's wisdom that comes with age, I get the feeling it's closer to nihilism. Or maybe I've got the best of both worlds and I'm a wise nihilist. And if you think that means I spend time studying the longest river in the world, then you just made my list. Yeah, I've got a list. Why? Don't you?

 And it has nothing to do with buckets.

Copyright © 2012 thehumorsmithchronicle


  1. Next time you get that driver, be the guy who sits in the front-most seat, talking to him the whole trip.  Keep asking him for more and more tips about how to be the bestest ever bus rider ever.  Share his tips with all the other riders as they get on, and make sure you let them know "driver said!" so they pay attention.