Monday, November 12, 2012

Me And My Woody

Don't know where I am now, but it's not where I was then.

That's my shot at becoming a Wayne Dyer/Tony Robbins/Deepak Chopra guy. A couple thousand more pithy sayings like that and I'll be able to sell books to millions and go on nationwide speaking tours.

I could do that now, but I'd rather get paid for my efforts. I'm not the type to expend effort with no reward. I don't even whack off unless I'm really horny. Which is hourly.

No wonder I don't get anything done. There are those who say masturbation is its own reward, and they are right. After years of dedicated study, I can affirm the fact. Of course, the last few years it hasn't stayed affirm long, but nonetheless.

There's a point in time where things don't seem to be as much fun as they were. Maybe I'm getting jaded. Or just bored and cynical. As I get older cynicism comes more often than I do.

Sorry. I just wanted to see how many bad jerk off jokes I could make, but there's no sense beating a dead horse. (thank you) Not real sure there are any good jerk off jokes, but I'm willing to find out.

I was talking to one of the voices in my head yesterday and he put me on hold to take another call. Sometimes it's like I'm my own worst enemy.

As soon as I decide what I'm going to do, I will do it spectacularly well. Surprisingly that sounds as good now as it did forty years ago. It's never too late to start, unless you're a 1949 De Soto.

Wow. No wonder they called that model the Woody. I'm thinking they'd've sold a bunch more if they'd included those 2 accessories with each one. Beats the hell out of fuzzy dice.

Copyright © 2012 thehumorsmithchronicle

No comments:

Post a Comment