Saturday, December 08, 2012

Merry What?

Sitting here listening to Miles Davis Quintet-Live in Europe 1967 The Bootleg Series Vol. 1 on my iPod with a martini at hand and wondering what I can do to keep this from sounding exactly like a Facebook status update.

The tune I'm listening to now is "No Blues".

Nope, that won't do.

As I'm a bit short of funds this year, I have an idea to help the panhandlers and me this holiday. Part of the reason most of my gifts are spendy is because I am an abysmal gift wrapper. Remember the packages your toddlers joyfully wrapped for you every Christmas?

Yeah, theirs look better than anything I can do.

So to save money, I will shop at less expensive stores that don't offer gift wrapping service, (Walgreen's doesn't right?) and give a few bucks to the panhandlers to wrap them for me. This will serve two purposes: it will help the needy and I will finally get to see what a bum wrap looks like.

I gotta admit, since the divorce Christmas has been one big yawner to me. I don't go anywhere, I have no friends over, and I can't get my cat to sit still long enough for me to put reindeer antlers on him, something I've never done, but I figure since everyone on Facebook posts pictures of cats dressed up in holiday finery it must be effin' hilarious. As anyone who knows me will tell you, I'll do anything for a laugh. That's what she said.

What? Oh shut up. I've been blogging for 4 years and that's the first time I have foisted that particular overused phrase on you. Count yourselves lucky.

Another quiet holiday with a big fat silver lining: I am not working, which means no crazed shoppers or the same 5 Christmas CDs 8 hours a day for three more weeks and no lines of surly people waiting to return the gift you thought they'd love but are lucky they didn't beat you with pa rum pum pum pum, rum pum pum pum, rum pum pum pum.

Baaaaa Humpbug.

Copyright © 2012 thehumorsmithchronicle


  1. Is that really the first time you've used that line? :)

  2. Bum wrap. Now that's funny. Happy holidays.

  3. Thank you leeuna. The Merriest of Christmases to you and yours and Happy New Year.